Get help! It doesn’t matter from who or where, but it isn’t something you can do on your own. Not forever anyway.
There are different options to choose from- rehabs, IOP programs, counseling, programs like NA or AA. If treatment isn’t an option, I think NA is your best bet. Find a meeting by you and introduce yourself at the beginning. Tell them you’re new and you need help. The support you will get is amazing.
Getting clean is the easy part. Staying clean takes work. Drugs aren’t the problem. You need to figure out why you started using them in the first place and deal with that. Figure out what it is you’re covering up. It sucks and it hurts, but it’s worth it. Once you deal with the underlying issue the desire to use drugs goes away. I’m not saying you won’t ever want to use, I still think about it from time to time, but it’s not so bad that I actually do.
I’m happy sober. More than I ever have been before. I didn’t think it was possible for me to feel like this or to do the things I’m doing, especially without drugs, but it is. Recovery works if you put in the effort. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done for myself.
You’ll never be ready to quit. You’ll never get bored of it and just want to stop. I said I was going to quit multiple times, and I meant it. I tried over and over again, but I always went back because I didn’t take care of the things that were causing it. You can do this. Anyone can. It’s just a matter of taking the necessary steps, even if it scares you, and it will. It’s uncomfortable and discouraging. Sometimes I still feel those ways, but seeing who I am today keeps me going.